A friend of mine sent me a collection of ‘sayings.’ My brain found many of them quite humorous so I’ll share some from time to time. Here are the first eight.
1. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.
2. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local community swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
3. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
4. I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Artificial intelligence is often fixable; stupidity is not.
6. I'm great at multi-tasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
7. You'd think in this day and age that Santa would be using an iPad, traveling by rocket, and unlocking a door with electronic gadgetry rather than risking a sooty chimney.
8. If you can smile when things go wrong, you may have someone in mind to blame.