Phubbing and Relationships

In an article entitled “What is Meant by ‘Phubbing’ and Is It Ruining Our Relationships?” the author summed it up this way: “We don’t need a lot of research to tell us what we already intrinsically know, that if we want quality relationships in our lives, we need to make them a priority and focus our attention on them. Additionally, you cannot have a human, connected, quality relationship through a smartphone. You must look someone in the eye and connect one-on-one for a quality relationship. In case we didn’t realize it before, now we have the scientists telling us what we already knew.” Quality time is the only gift you can give another person that no one but you can give—your time.  More Tomorrow.

W-Phubbing

Similar problems with inattentiveness and disruption have been observed in work settings, as well. Some refer to that as W-phubbing. The brain was not designed to multi-task and when one or more individuals in a group are distracted by checking their mobile communication device, they may miss key points in a discussion or fail to contribute appropriately. Moreover, their W-phubbing (snubbing someone in a Work setting in favor of your mobile phone) can distract others. It can be particularly annoying to a speaker when the behavior of attendees indicate that their cellphone is more important than paying attention to the presentation. Have you been phubbed? Done any phubbing yourself? Use your brain to evaluate if phubbing is negatively impacting your relationships, personal and professional. If the answer is ‘yes,’ you may want to disconnect periodically from communication technology rather than risk strangling your relationship—or sending a nonverbal message that you might never put into words. More tomorrow 

Phubbing Threatens Human Ineractions

In an article from the Journal of Applied Social Psychology titled “The effects of “phubbing” on social interaction," the authors reportedly concluded that the importance of phubbing as a modern social phenomenon needs to be further investigated. This is because phubbing significantly and negatively can impact one’s perception of the quality of communication and satisfaction with relationships. Apparently, phubbing can threaten four fundamental needs of human beings: self-esteem, a sense of belongingness, meaningful existence, and control. When these basic needs are threatened, as they are when you are phubbed, the quality of one’s relationships are threatened. In addition, there can be a negative impact on one’s mental health, as well. Much in the same way as with personal relationships, phubbing can impact professional relationships, as well, making one or more of the individuals feel marginalized, unimportant, etc. More tomorrow. 

Downside of Phubbing

The authors of the study on phubbing or P-phubbing found that—in terms of a romantic couple—the higher the incidence of phubbing behaviors, the more likely a romantic couple were to experience conflict in the relationship and have lower levels of satisfaction. “But they aren’t saying anything,” you may say.” Perhaps not verbally, but the nonverbal behavior sends a message to the other partner ‘loud and clear.' This implied message can reveal the partner’s priorities, suggest that the mobile device is more exciting than the person who is physically present, or that whomever is calling or texting is more important than the partner—or even a close or best friend. Unless I am out eating alone, my practice is to keep my mobile phone out of sight. On the rare occasions when I am expecting a call from overseas, I will tell my friend(s) in advance: “If my cell phone rings and it is an overseas call, I need to take it. Anyone else can leave a message and I’ll get to it later.” My little French grandmother used to say ‘a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.’ I want to honor and respect the individual I am with and the time they are giving to me, which is really all each of us has to give another—that no other person can—our personal undivided attention during our time together. More tomorrow. 

Types of Phubbing

Researchers have identified eight types of phubbing or P-phubbing. For example: keeping the phone in sight—if not in hand—while the individuals are together; answering the phone even when in the middle of a conversation; glancing at the mobile device while talking; texting a reply (often while saying aloud, "Keep talking. I'm listening), and so on. (Actually, the brain cannot truly listen and talk at the same time because both activities come from the same hemisphere of the brain.)The authors reported that while people often assume that momentary distractions by their cellphones are not a big deal, the more often a two-person’s time spent together is interrupted by the other’s cellphone, the less likely the first individual is to be satisfied with the overall relationship. A lower level of relationship satisfaction tends toward lower levels of life satisfaction. Ultimately, this can contribute to higher levels of depression to say nothing of relational discord. More tomorrow. 

Pubbing!

According to the Urban Dictionary, the term “phubbing” describes a person who is snubbing someone else in favor of the person’s own mobile phone. Wikipedia describes phubbing as a term coined as part of a campaign by Macquarie Dictionary to describe the habit of snubbing someone in favor of a mobile phone (May 2012). Naturally, that term represents advances in technology and the way in which human beings use that technology—namely, mobile phones. Results of a study about phubbing at the Hankamer School of Business, Baylor University, were published in Computers in Human Behavior. Nearly half of study participants reported they’d been ‘phubbed’ or P-phubbed by their Partner and almost half of those indicated this had caused conflict. The abstract pointed out that, ”Although the stated purpose of technology like smartphones is to help us connect with others, in this particular instance, it does not. Ironically, the very technology that was designed to bring humans closer together has isolated us from these very same people.” More tomorrow. 

Brain or MInd: Which came first?

Remember the vehicle-traffic metaphor? Well, try this: the brain creates technology. In turn, technology impacts the brain positively or negatively—by something the brain created to begin with. Researchers at the UC Davis Center for Mind and Brain—with access to some of the world's most advanced and highly sensitive analytical equipment—are studying the brain vs the mind.  Whatever else the human brain is, it is relational. It has a relationship with you, the mind; other brains; and with technology. Two researchers at the Hankamer School of Business of Baylor University, are authors of what may be the first formal study of the impact on a relationship when a person uses or is distracted by his/her cell phone while in the company of other individuals, the person’s relationship partner, friend, or colleague, for example. As you may know, the term for this is “Phubbing.”  More tomorrow.