Downside of Phubbing

The authors of the study on phubbing or P-phubbing found that—in terms of a romantic couple—the higher the incidence of phubbing behaviors, the more likely a romantic couple were to experience conflict in the relationship and have lower levels of satisfaction. “But they aren’t saying anything,” you may say.” Perhaps not verbally, but the nonverbal behavior sends a message to the other partner ‘loud and clear.' This implied message can reveal the partner’s priorities, suggest that the mobile device is more exciting than the person who is physically present, or that whomever is calling or texting is more important than the partner—or even a close or best friend. Unless I am out eating alone, my practice is to keep my mobile phone out of sight. On the rare occasions when I am expecting a call from overseas, I will tell my friend(s) in advance: “If my cell phone rings and it is an overseas call, I need to take it. Anyone else can leave a message and I’ll get to it later.” My little French grandmother used to say ‘a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.’ I want to honor and respect the individual I am with and the time they are giving to me, which is really all each of us has to give another—that no other person can—our personal undivided attention during our time together. More tomorrow.