Rejection

How is rejection processed in the brain? Rejection is a type of social-emotional hurt—a loss of something you wanted or thought you wanted. Sadness is the emotion that helps you recover from a loss. To change the way you feel, you must change the way you think, because feelings always follow thoughts. According to research from Case Western Reserve University, exposure to rejection led participants to have an immediate drop of 30 percent in cognition or mental reasoning and a 25 percent drop in IQ—which can make it difficult to process the experience in a rational and timely manner. Fortunately, as you recover from the hurt, the drop in cognition and IQ can reverse. A few sessions with a good counselor often can assist with recovery from rejection. I think of it like this: some people will always reject you; some will accept you some of the time, but all will never accept you all the time—and really, you don’t accept all people all the time. Here is my brain’s opinion: it is most important to first accept yourself. Think of anything beyond that as a bonus.

 

Repressing Memories

My girlfriend said that the brain doesn’t know the difference between good and bad memories so if you repress one, you repress them all. Is that true? If the brain did not know the difference between good and bad memories it might repress either all of them or none of them. Memories are believed filed somewhat diffusely throughout the brain rather than in just one giant memory bank. Good thing because if a brain injury knocked out that one giant memory bank you might not ever remember who you are. When the brain does repress a painful memory think of it as using your thumb to put pressure on a ripe plumb. The area of pressure will, naturally, be strongest right under your thumb. There will also be an area around that point that is of lighter pressure. Depending on what was stored in that surrounding area, you might repress good memories as well.

 

Pandemic of Anxiety

Why are so many people anxious?

 Anxiety is a form of fear. The news is filled with tragic and sensational news because it sells. If you watch a lot of news, that is what is being absorbed into your conscious and subconscious minds. Parts of the parietal lobe and the temporal lobe help the brain to evaluate its environment. The brain switches between these two different neural networks whereby one is triggered when we perceive a situation as positive, and the another is activated when we perceive it as negative. 

The areas apparently ‘speak’ to each other and interpret the weight or importance of the situation in order to decide which one will be switched on and which one will be switched off. Flooding the brain with anxiety-producing information. can lead to anxious rumination and perhaps a diagnosis of Anxiety Disorder—because more negatives are going into the brain than positives.

Broken Resolutions

I make a dozen new resolutions and by this time each year none of them are sticking. I am so discouraged!  First, pluck up. You were trying to do something that it is highly unlikely would be possible for your brain. A dozen resolutions? I can just imagine your brain said, “Are you nuts? Because a dozen new resolutions is nuts. What were you thinking? I’ll just sit this one out, and in a few days—if this year is like the last 35—you will have given up and forgotten all about them.” Second: select one doable resolution. One you want to keep doing for the rest of our life. Tell your brain using your first name:  ______ you are drinking water and have two pale urines today (or whatever your resolution is, stated in positive present tense.) The brain gets in gear when it thinks something is happening right now. Do it every day. Faithfully. Studies have shown that it takes on average nearly 12 weeks of doing that something every day until it becomes a built-in habit. If you want to add another resolution and keep honing your first one, fine. My brain’s opinion: better 1 good resolution turned into a habit than several that fell by the wayside. Listen to my weekly podcast https://anchor.fm/arlene-r-taylor

 

Resolutions

People are talking about New Year’s Resolutions again— change! Why is it so hard for humans to change?  Humans are creatures of habits because habits are efficient, fast, and save brain-body energy. Why is change so hard? Because the brain must override and interrupt a habit or create a new one, which either way takes time and energy. Sometimes a good habit is unhelpful in specific situations only. For example, when confronted by danger the brain typically initiates a fight or flight response. If you are suddenly confronted by a large and potentially dangerous wild animal, however, fighting is not an option and running is exactly the WRONG thing to do if you plan to live another day. It that situation, the brain is also designed to get your attention in and tell you that a typical learned habit is NOT in your best interest in this situation.

 

 

Happy New Year It’s another New Year and all through my   house, Rejoicing is high as there is no mouse. Except for the one that runs my laptop— So quiet you really can hear a pin drop.  The new insulation I put in the garage, Took lots of work plus a post-massage. It was certainly worth it, I declare, Inside there is now much warmer air! My stocking once hung from the mantel with care, Is back in its box—its yearly armchair. And it its case my treasured tree, Made of ceramic so there’s no debris.  Another good meal is about to be served, From all the left-overs we reserved. The reheated dishes from holiday fare, Account for the wonderful smells in the air.  The sun shining brightly has dispelled the fog, A very good thing as it looked like eggnog! Despite the pandemic it’s been a good year, I accomplished a lot with friends I hold dear.  We have slipped through New-Year’s open gate, On wings of time that never wait. They take us to a different height— A brand-new chance to get it right.  Make time to connect—it goes so fast— The love of true friends is what will last. From my heart to yours, I wish for you, The very best year in all that you do.

New Year's Day Acrostic

New Year’s Day Acrostic Now is the time to forgive yourself and others—for your own health. Eye the future but live every day as if it were your last. Work on raising your Emotional Intelligence skills. It pays big dividends! Yesterday is gone—learn from it and be mindfully aware today. Everyone needs to feel valuable, so find something to affirm in each one. Always practice doing random acts of kindness. Remember to be pleasant. Avoid being the dark cloud in someone’s sky. Smile at everyone—it may be the only smile they see.  Do say “I love you” every day—it may be the last time you see that person. Always give thanks for what you have—you will have even more Younger and healthier is possible. Live a Longevity Lifestyle—it matters.