1. Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more talented fool.
2. I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.
3. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
4. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
5. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
6. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
7. When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.
8. My wife got 8 out of 10 on her driver's test … the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.