Monday, May 21, 2018

EQ Question Two

Response #2 for question One represents the highest level of EQ. That’s the preferred way to process what happened so you can learn to analyze behaviors and select a different behavior in the future that can give you a more desirable outcome.

Select the response that in your brain’s opinion represents the highest level of EQ along with reasons for your choice.

Explain your current life in one sentence:

1.   Okay – life is a 50:50 mixed experience
2.   Successful – a contented person who has what could
     make you happy
3.   Comfortable – but basically just a puppet in life
4.   Uncomfortable – a person who deserves better but can’t get it

Friday, May 18, 2018

EQ Question One

Select the response that in your brain’s opinion represents the highest level of EQ along with reasons for your choice.

When an idea you really believe in is rejected, you:

1.   Feel totally put down and tell others how unfair this was
2.   Analyze reasons for the defeat and brainstorm another way to present the idea
3.   Figure winning and losing are all part of the game
4.   Wait for the next opportunity to beat your opponents

Thursday, May 17, 2018

EQ Assessment

Since one's level of EQ does not show up in IQ tests and since the 2006 study indicated that managers were spending 18 percent of their work time on employee conflict (much of which reflected low levels of EQ), some are working on developing an EQ assessment. Dr. Dalip Singh of India and author of Emotional Intelligence at Work: A Professional Guide is one of them. One of his goals is to develop an assessment that Human Resource Departments can use to evaluate employment applicants. Since nearly one fifth of the manager’s time in the studies performed is being spent on employee conflicts—that often reflect low levels of EQ—he would like to create an applicant tool that might be able to screen out individuals with low levels of EQ. And if the applicant “scammed the assessment” the manager would be able to say, “Your assessment showed that you understand the principles of high EQ. Can you explain the reason your behaviors do not align with that understanding?” Seven sample questions follow. They can work just as well for individuals who are raising their level of EQ. Check out each one and evaluate your responses and your EQ knowledge. The “answers” will follow the next day.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Dump the “Silent Treatment”

Studies have shown that giving a friend, partner, or spouse the silent treatment is a classic signal that the relationship is in big trouble. Some researchers say it is one of the most common and most toxic patterns in a relationship. Some psychologists refer to it as a “demand-withdraw” patterns. One of the individuals complains or criticizes the other person, while that person withdraws and exhibits the “silent treatment.” Professor Paul Schrodt put it this way: “It’s the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship. And it does tremendous damage.” Are you guilty of this behavior? If so, know that it represents low levels of Emotional Intelligence. You might be well-advised to take whatever steps are necessary to dump this behavior in favor of behaviors that can result in positive outcomes.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

F-O-O Work

Studies have indicated that only thirty percent of how we relate to others, especially close friends, partners, spouses, and sexual relationships, has to do with the other person. Seventy percent has to do with our personal past history, which for most people appears to go largely unexplored and uninvestigated. Family-of-origin work can be very helpful in looking at the relationship patterns in the present generation and then back three or four generations, if it is possible to get information. Were JOT behaviors exhibited? What were the patterns of shame and guilt? Was healthy shame and healthy guilt exhibited as a rule or not? Did family members take responsibility for their mistakes and apologize as necessary or did they tend to blame others as the cause of all their problems. Figuring this out can provide some clues about behaviors that you may have “come by honestly” but that you can choose to alter.

Monday, May 14, 2018

JOT Behaviors

JOT behaviors, so called, represent low levels of EQ. Evaluate your life for the presence of one or more of these behaviors. That can give you a starting place for something to work on resolving.

  • J stands for jumping to conclusions
  • O stands for overreacting
  • T stands for taking things personally
 Pay attention to the behaviors you exhibit. Catch yourself every time you exhibit a JOT behavior and course correct immediately. The goal, of course, is to catch yourself BEFORE you exhibit the JOT behavior and select a more desirable behavior to begin with.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Using Different Words

Unfortunately, in many languages the words for emotions and feelings are the virtually the same. Anger and angry, Fear and afraid, etc. Using different words for feelings may help you to differentiate them from the signals of emotion. For example:
          Anger surfaces – You feel mad
           Fear surfaces – You feel scared
           Sadness surfaced – You feel bad-sad
           Joy surfaces – You feel glad
           Euphoria surfaces – You feel wow!
It is possible to tech this to four and five year old children. If they can learn to do this, so can you. You may enjoy reading a story about that entitled: If a Child Can . . .