What is the bottom line here? Other people
are not paying attention to you nearly as much as you may think they are. Knowing
this can give you permission to be yourself, help you feel less embarrassed in
public when something untoward happens, and take it a bit easier when you do
make a mistake. Kenneth Savitsky put it like this: "You can’t completely
eliminate the embarrassment you feel when you commit a faux pas, but it helps
to know how much you’re exaggerating its impact.” Studies have
shown empirically that a drastic over-estimation of one's effect on others is
widely common. Once you know about the spotlight effect, you can choose to
become more realistic in terms of how much you believe you really are the
center of attention and in a social spotlight. The perception of being under
constant scrutiny is a mind construct, and the self-doubt you feel after making
a mistake appears not to truly reflect reality. That’s good news!
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