The Myth of Happiness

This is the title of a book by Sonja Lyubomirsky and she has some very interesting things to say. According to the author, much of the cultural socialization about happiness really amounts to a false promise. How many times have you said something like, “I’ll be so happy when_________________.” And were you? From a brain function perspective, when you say, “I’m going to be happy when ______ the brain thinks (in effect), “When you get there, I’ll help you to be happy.” But since you are speaking in future tense—and the brain tends to get into gear in the present—it doesn’t help you choose happiness now. You know people who have chosen to be happy whether they are single, married, or divorced. You also know people who have chosen to be unhappy whether they are single, married, or divorced. A researcher commented the other day, “Most people have what could make them happy—and yet they are discontented and unhappy.” It starts with a decision. “I choose to be happy right now.”