Self-talk is
powerful and can be positive and helpful or negative and unhelpful depending on
how you use it. For years I have talked to myself beginning with: “I, Arlene Taylor, am . . . .” New studies by
a team led by
Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan
has shown that referring to oneself as “you” (or by your own name) works
equally well. Among other things, researchers examined how these different forms of self-talk influence
the way people appraise social-anxiety-provoking events. They discovered that use of your name
or a non-first person pronoun (you) during internal self-talk helps to distance
you from yourself, in a sense, and enables you to regulate your emotions more
effectively. It can also help you to appraise
future stressors in more challenging and less threatening terms. According
to the researchers, these findings
demonstrate that small shifts in the language people use to refer to the self
during introspection consequentially influence one’s ability to regulate their
thoughts, feelings, and behavior under social stress, even for vulnerable
individuals. I like options. Now I have another option for self-talk: “You are
. . .” I like it!
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