Heart Intelligence

I was just told that the heart is an “intelligent organ.” What type of nonsense is this?

What is your definition of “nonsense?!” You may recall in earlier blogs I reported that researchers say there is a direct two-way connection between the heart and the brain over which the heart and the brain connect with each other regularly. In fact, it is believed that the heart actually sends more messages to the brain than vice versa. According to HeartMath research, the heart has its own intelligence. Heart patterns change throughout the day based on your emotions, which the heart can sense, sometimes even before you cognitively sense them yourself. If your emotions are protective (anger, fear, or sadness), the heart can respond even before you are aware and trigger entrainment in the brain. If your thoughts are forgiving, caring, and filled with love and gratitude, this also changes the heart’s patterns. Again, this is communicated from the heart to the brain and can increase congruence or entrainment between the two organs.

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ACEs & Relationships

I had a really painful childhood. I can’t forgive my mother and my sperm doner. Been married three times. Have not had a plethora of friends. Been told I have no empathy. I avoid feelings but frequently explode with anger. So, I periodically hook up and have sex but otherwise stay pretty isolated. Is there some connection?

It sounds like you experienced the aftermath of what is being referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs. If you were damaged in childhood and have no empathy and struggle identifying the difference between emotions and feelings, it may be difficult for you to experience a really genuine relationship. My guess is you have a low level of trust and a hair-trigger anger that leaks out any time you perceive or imagine someone is in anyway criticizing or putting your down. Then you lash out, say and do things you later wish you hadn’t, and fail to recognize when someone offers you a genuine and loving friendship. This tendency will continue until you heal your past woundedness and forgive—not for sake of your “mother” or “sperm doner,” but for your own health and wellbeing. More tomorrow.

Taylorisms

1      Time always reveals how much you truly meant to another person

 Pay more attention to how people behave than to just their words

      Avoid making a person for whom you are just an option your priority

You are responsible for your own happiness—it’s a mindset

 Never run after a person who chooses to walk away from you—it’s wasted exercise

 Listen carefully—people usually tell who they really are

      When unsure of how to respond to someone, sleep on it—things often look different in the morning

      The only person you can control is you; the only behaviors you can control are yours 

      Hoping that another person will change their behaviors is usually a blind alley

      Others cannot make you feel a specific way, they can only trigger an emotion—you take it from there 

      Your brain creates your feelings, therefore you can choose to change them

      Emotional Intelligence helps you manage both emotions and feelings more successfully

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Internet Slang Downside

Does Internet Slang have a downside?

I guess that would depend on your definition of “downside.” In this genre it could mean negative consequences of what would otherwise be a beneficial choice. Educators have expressed some concerns about the impact of Internet Slang on grammar. Reportedly educational institutions in both the United States and Canada are seeing a sharp decline in proper English writing. An English professor and associate dean at Simon Fraser University reportedly noted that punctuation and apostrophe errors are very common. “Students seem to have absolutely no idea what an apostrophe is for. None. Absolutely none.” Abbreviations, lowercase words that should be capitalized, neglectful proofreading, along with other common mistakes are being laid at the door of social media and SMS texting. Nevertheless, I’ll bet Internet Slang is here to stay. [Incidentally, I looked up IS in the Urban Dictionary and was surprised to discover that the term “Internet Slang” was NOT one of the listed definitions. Go figure.]

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Urban Dictionary

Why would anyone take the time to learn Internet Slang?

Likely beause they could perceive receiving some benefit from it. Typically, it takes longer to type a message than it does to verbalize the same message in words—although there are individuals who can type more than 100 words per minute and do so quite accurately. Think of Internet Slang as typing shorthand, a faster way to communicate on the world-wide web. One problem is that “auto-correct” can be a nuisance on some devices. You start typing a word and the virtual assistant completes it for you. The problem is that virtual assistants cannot read your mind. For instance, there are scores of words that begin with the letters “sh” or “fu.” If you are in a hurry and do not carefully read your message before you hit send, it’s anyone’s guess what the recipient will actually receive thanks to the virtual assistant! The Internet Slang Dictionary of choice is said to be the Urban Dictionary. Reportedly it contains over 10.5 million Internet Slang definitions. If you see a slang word on the world-wide web, it is highly likely that you can find the definition by looking for it on the Urban Dictionary website. It can be accessed online at urbandictionary.com.

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Internet Slang #3

If you think you have a “new one,” you can send it to Urbandictionary.com for evaluation and possible inclusion. Here are more examples.

L8R:     Later

LOL:    Laugh Out Loud

NM:      Never Mind

NP:       No Problem

SOML: Story of My Life

TMI:     Too Much Information

TTYL:  Talk to You Later

U:         You

Y:         Why

YW:      You're Welcome

2:         To, too, two

8:          Ate

Internet Slang #2

Where is Internet Slang used?

 As the name implies, on the Internet. Internet users worldwide are using Internet Slang on social media sites, email, SMS text messages, and so on. Here are more examples.

GTG:    Got To Go

GF:       Girlfriend

GR8:    Great

HRU:    How are you?

HTH:    Hope This Helps

IDK:      I don’t know

IMO:     In My Opinion

IMHO:  In My Humble Opinion

JK:       Just kidding 

Internet Slang

What is internet slang anyway? Should I forbid my kids to use it?

Have you ever heard of “shorthand?” It is a set of abbreviations that office assistants often use when using pen or pencil to take down verbal dictation. Think of Internet slang as electronic shorthand. It is a way to speed up electronic communication and express emotion in the social media world. It’s really a language of abbreviations. I use some of them myself. You likely do as well. I cannot imagine any reason for forbidding your kids to use it. As soon as they are old enough to leave home, they likely would learn it anyway and just be slower than other adolescents for lack of practice. Here are examples.  

 ASAP:   As Soon As Possible

@:       At

BF:        Boyfriend

BBS:     Be Back Soon

BRB:     Be Right Back

DM:       Direct Message or Messages

FAQ:     Frequently Asked Questions

FB:        Face Book                         

FTW:     For the Win

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Making Decisions

I agonize over making the smallest decision, and my brain can go into overdrive when there are 3 or more options. Help!

Making choices can be difficult, especially if both options are close in desirability or the individual is attempting to make flawless decisions—as there is no such thing. Giving up and refusing to make a decision is itself a decision. Emotional Intelligence can help you recognize the wisdom of delaying gratification for a more desirable outcome later on. There is no perfect or flawless option because you always give up something to get something. Part of choosing may include which one requires the least amount of “giving up something.” When you have multiple options all fairly equal in desirability, studies recommend evaluating only two options at a time since the brain has only two hemispheres. When there are more than two options, the brain may discard everything over two—and one of the discarded options may have been the most desirable. Instead, select two of the options and pick one. Compare that one with another option and select one. Repeat this until there are no more options. Avoid agonizing over the option that was left. Go for it and enjoy it. There will be different options another time.

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Surprise or Shock

Is there a difference between surprise and shock?

According to Dictionary.com, surprise means something that occurs unexpectedly with a sudden feeling of wonder or astonishment. That could be hearing from an old friend or a surprise anniversary or birthday celebration. Shock is described as a sudden or violent disturbance of the mind, emotions, or sensitivities. Examples could include a natural disaster (flood, earthquake, tornado, severe vehicle accident, fire, or sudden death). It may be unexpected. However, it usually involves something sad, negative, or unwanted. Both surprise and shock are unexpected. However, surprise more commonly involves something pleasant, while shock is more likely to involve something unpleasant. Shock can trigger PTSD or depression. 

Disliking Surprises

One of our siblings hates surprises while the rest of us love them. Why do some people dislike surprises?

Highly introverted individuals may feel that any surprise is too intense or provides too much stimulation. Others feel safer when they are in control and feel anxious about anything outside of their control. Still others are afraid they might embarrass themselves with their response to a surprise event. There are also those who feel “unworthy” of a surprise due to low self-esteem. Others are anxious for fear of the unknown (e.g., brains with ADHD, OCD, or on the Spectrum) or hate to be the center of attention. Because not every brain responds the same to surprises, I often tell the individual that I would like to celebrate their birthday, anniversary, graduation or a new job, and ask if the date and time will work for them. This way they know something is going to happen but exactly what it is can be the surprise. Sometimes we even agree on the “surprise” in advance. I see no point in doing something that will be stressful to their brain instead of happily rewarding.

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Brain Function & Surprises

What happens in the brain when it is surprised?

 The brain responds to a surprise by releasing the neuromodulator noradrenaline (also known as norepinephrine). Neuromodulators are substances that can act mimic hormones or neurotransmitters. Dopamine, serotonin, and acetylcholine are also neuromodulators. Produced by the locus coeruleus nuclei in the brain, neuromodulators tend to be released over large areas of the brain, allowing them to exert more general effects. (Incidentally, noradrenaline is remarkably similar to adrenaline, with a reported one atom of difference between the two.) One of noradrenaline’s functions is to increase the intensity of the brain’s response to a surprise and to help the brain learn from the surprise. Intensity increases the likelihood that the brain will store the memory. This can help explain how human beings tend to recall situations from childhood that involved a big surprise or a big disappointment.

Dealing with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

As with many different syndromes, there are variations of Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. In complete androgen insensitivity syndrome, the body cannot use androgens period. Individuals have external sex characteristics of females but no uterus so are infertile. They typically have sparse or absent hair under arms and in the pubic area. In partial forms of androgen insensitivity syndrome, the body is partially sensitive to androgens in varying degrees. Partial sensitivity, also known as Reifenstein syndrome, can result in genitalia that look typically female, typically male, or genitalia that have both male and female characteristics. The individuals may have undescended testicles and usually are infertile.

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Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

So what is an Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome?

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome is a condition that affects sexual development before birth and during puberty. Individuals with this condition are genetically male, with one X and one Y chromosome in each cell. However, their bodies are unable to respond to or utilize androgens. Therefore, they exhibit mostly female external sex characteristics or signs of both male and female sexual development. They have a Disorder of Sexual Development (DIS), formerly referred to as hermaphroditism or Intersex. Typically, they are raised as female and believe themselves to be female. If they try to become pregnant, however, in spite of having a short vagina, they cannot do so because they do not have a uterus. This condition affects 1 in 20,000 to 64,000 XY individuals. More tomorrow 

Androgens

What are androgens and what are they used for?

Androgens are a group of sex hormones. Testicles in males make androgens as do ovaries in females. Androgens such as testosterone end to be present in much higher levels in males and play a role in their traits and reproductive success. Females have testosterone, as well, however. Androgens in all genders assist with muscle development, bone density, red blood cell production, puberty, sexual desire, and functionality. Any individual may produce too much or too little androgens, with accompanying symptoms. Six primary types secreted by endocrine glands include: testosterone, dihydrotestosterone (DHT), androstenedione, androstenediol dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate (DHEAS), and dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA)—some rather challenging to pronounce without a lot of practice!

Androgens

What are androgens and what are they used for?

 Androgens are a group of sex hormones. Testicles in males make androgens as do ovaries in females. Androgens such as testosterone end to be present in much higher levels in males and play a role in their traits and reproductive success. Females have testosterone, as well, however. Androgens in all genders assist with muscle development, bone density, red blood cell production, puberty, sexual desire, and functionality. Any individual may produce too much or too little androgens, with accompanying symptoms. Six primary types secreted by endocrine glands include: testosterone, dihydrotestosterone (DHT), androstenedione, androstenediol dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate (DHEAS), and dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA)—some rather challenging to pronounce without a lot of practice!

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DSM-5 Gender Dysphoria

What is Gender Dysphoria? I heard the term for the first time yesterday and have no idea what it means. 

As new information is discovered, labels are sometimes changed. For example, the term hermaphroditism is gradually being replaced with Disorders of Sexual Development (DIS) or sometimes Intersex for short. In the same way, the term Gender Identity Disorder is gradually being phased out, because a Sexual Identity Disorder is not in itself a mental disorder. The word Dysphoria is defined as a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied. Think of dysphoria as the opposite of euphoria, which describes a state of extreme happiness. The term Gender Dysphoria is used in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fifth edition (DSM-5). It describes individuals whose gender assignment at birth is contrary to the one they identify with—sometimes accurately. This label is intended to better characterize the experiences of affected individuals.

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Sexual Identity Disorder

Can you tell me what a Sexual Identity Disorder is all about?

It is a term formerly used to describe confusion about what a person looks like externally and who that person’s brain believes it really is. Stated another way, there is a marked difference between the individual’s expressed/experienced gender and the gender others would assign him or her. This condition causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. The label Sexual Identity Disorder includes a connotation that the individual is “disordered.” Sexual Identity Disorder is not in itself a mental disorder. The critical element is the presence of clinically significant distress associated with the condition. According to the American Psychiatric Society, the art of removing stigma is about choosing the right words. Replacing the word “disorder” with “dysphoria” in the diagnostic label is not only more appropriate and consistent with familiar clinical sexology terminology, it also removes the connotation that the individual is “disordered.”

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Pseudohermaphrodites

I saw a fascinating BBC production that talked about girl babies turning  into boys at puberty. Can’t the babies be chromosome tested at birth so they can be raised congruent with who they are genetically?

For years researchers have been studying a specific family system in the Dominican Republic where XY babies appeared to be female at birth and were raised female until puberty, when “all hormonal hell broke loose and my girl grew a penis and turned into a boy,” as one parent put it. According to a BBC series, these children are called guevedoces, which loosely translates to "penis at twelve,” or machihembras, which means "first a woman, then a man." And yes, with ongoing research, physicians in the Dominican Republic have become more attuned to identifying which girls may turn out to be guevedoces at the onset of puberty. (BBC Two series "Countdown to Life”)

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Assignment of Gender

In the past it was commonly expected to have the clinician document the newborn’s gender at time of birth. The physician was expected to make a judgement of the newborn’s identity, which was either male or female. There were some cases where it wasn’t initially easily identifiable. In those cases, the physician made their best guess. And, in some cases, the newborn appeared to be female only to develop male genitalia at puberty when an androgen jump-start triggered what looked like a “conversion” from female to male. [I’ll talk more about that tomorrow.] If the choice was not clear, the newborn was often assigned as a female and sometimes surgery was performed., Chromosomal, neural, hormonal, psychological, and behavioral factors can all influence gender identity. There seems to be a shift beginning, and current practice is changing. According to Medline Plus, many are now urging a delay for any surgery for as long as is healthy. Ideally, surgical change, if undertaken, will include the child, adolescent, or adult in the gender identity decision. This likely would include genetic and DNA/chromosomal studies. 

Hermaphroditism

At a recent Hollywood event I was told that one of the recipients was an hermaphrodite. How would I know whether that was true and what does it really mean?

 You would have no idea whether it was true unless the individual in question released that information. The term hermaphroditism is gradually being replaced with Disorders of Sexual Development (DIS) or sometimes Intersex for short. DIS describes a group of conditions where the internal sex organs and the external genitals are incongruent—they do not match in a way that generally occurs. The cause of DIS in children remains a mystery in spite of modern diagnostic options—although some potential contributory factors that increase the risk are being identified.

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Lessons to Learn

I’ve been watching the debacle of the two former senior royals. What lessons learned could have helped them be successful?

 I can think of several. No matter where you are in a sibling lineup, figure out what you are good at and hone those qualities, with the goal of leaving the planet a better place than you found it. Jealousy and envy are fast growing malignancies—for you. Never lie or be unkind to others. Every action has consequences, and you tend to get back what you give out—reap what you sow. Who you choose to hang out with is critically important. Just as water seeks its own level, so you tend to descend to their level of decency, if it is lower than yours. One bad apple can ruin the bushel. Within three years you tend to adopt the characteristics of those you spend the most time with. You can never change another individual—you can change yourself. 

Eggless French Toast

I read a recommendation to avoid eggs as you grow older, as eggs are acidic. However, I LOVE French Toast and I cannot make it without eggs. What do I do now?

 Yes, eggs do lean toward being more acidic. I think the risk is more toward possible food poisoning from contamination or inadequate cooking. What do you do now? If you are concerned, make it without eggs, of course. I make egg-free French Toast frequently and thoroughly enjoy it. When I became allergic to eggs—the resulting hives had nothing to do with bees—going without French Toast was not an option. I always use genuine sourdough bread made with starter only and no added yeast, as it has a better Glycemic rating than other types of bread. It takes a little longer to make but I do morning physical exercises while it is cooking.

 You can find the recipe on my website:  www.arlenetaylor.org  From the left menu, click on Resources, then Recipes, then Bread ‘n Breakfast, and then Taylor’s Vegan Sourdough French Toast. Enjoy!

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