Brain and Change, 2

When change occurs, I just ignore it and go on about my business. That’s good, right?

When change occurs, each person’s brain tends to make a decision—consciously or subconsciously—about the change. To like it, dislike it, or take a neutral position and “wait and see.” to like or dislike what was changed. Remember, thinking you are completely neutral (if that is even possible) is also a decision. Beyond that, each person’s brain will choose the type of behaviors to exhibit based on their perception of the change. Some choose to follow and replicated exhibited dysfunctional behaviors. Others choose to work with the change or cooperate with functional behaviors designed to take a nondestructive approach. The choice you make will impact your brain-body health in differing ways that can also impact succeeding generations negatively or positively.

 

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Brain & Change

In the words of Epictetus, 2^nd Century Greek philosopher: "It’s not so much what happens that matters as what you think about what happens."  Lately it seems that the only constant is change. How you choose to respond to the change is critical for your future—ultimately a piece of the future of Planet Earth. It begins in your brain. Mine I regret hearing news about humans who act out their anger and frustration by hurting or killing others and destroying property, because in the end they damage themselves and their future. Anyone can complain and act out negatively. It takes wisdom and strength to worth together to solve existing problems. Society doesn’t appreciate or condone temper tantrums in children, how much less in adults—an unfortunate role-model for the young in how to approach change.  More tomorrow. 

Cisgender vs Transgender

I don’t understand what transsexual even means, much less transgender or cisgender! Can you help me figure this out? I am completely at sea, and I want to avoid making a mistake. 

Transgender is an all-encompassing term. Metaphorically, compare it with the term automobile of which there are differing types: Ford, Honda, BMW, Tesla, to name a few. All BMWs are automobiles; not all automobiles are BMWs. Using that metaphor, all transsexuals are transgenders, but not all transgenders are transsexuals. Transgender is a term to describe individuals who have a strong need and desire to identify with a gender opposite from their birth gender. Avoid guessing about transgender subgroups. If someone wants you to know their specific type, that is their choice. Otherwise, I do not consider it any of my business. First and foremost, human beings are human beings. Opposite from the term transgender, Cisgender identifies people who are comfortable with their birth gender. The majority of humans on Planet Earth identify as Cisgender.

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Microaggression Example - 4

Not long ago an early teen girl was sitting on a bench in the mall, head in her hands, sobbing as if her heart would break. A woman ahead of me noticed it and walked over to sit near her. I dawdled in a store doorway, curious to see what would happen. “Can I do anything to help?” the woman asked finally. The girl raised her head, her reddish-blonde hair beautifully braided in a unique style. “I just had my hair braided because I admire this style so much. I saved my allowance for three months so I could afford it. Some women just told me that I have no right to wear my hair braided like this because this style belongs to their culture.” Ouch. I kept listening. “I am an archeologist," the woman said. "Actually, I have seen drawings and paintings of Viking women wearing a similar style. It looks good on you. Enjoy it.” The girl smiled weakly and swiped at her eyes. “You know,” the woman continued, “this world is built on sharing, duplicating, and copying. It has been said that there’s nothing completely new under the sun. Imitation is a form of flattery, you know. Wear your braids with pride as a compliment to whomever else wears them."

Microaggression Example, 3

Microaggression often goes unrecognized. For example, many a highly intelligent, well educated, and assertive female (whatever her race) is marginalized as a complainer, trouble maker, or worse, while a male counterpart who exhibits similar behavior is described as a gifted and dynamic leader. In a committee meeting, a female, or a black, or another person of color may make a suggestion that just “sits on the table” and is not picked up. If much later a male (especially a white male) makes the same suggestion as if he just thought of it, the group commends him for his astute observations. A male who kindly holds a door open for a female is told, “I don’t need you to open the door for me. I am capable of doing it myself.” That completely negates his attempt to be chivalrous and helpful. Or rolling one’s eyes behind the back of a person who is different from you. Or a black individual or a person of color telling someone who is not, “Because you have not walked in my shoes you have nothing of value to share with me.” Microaggression  in verbal and nonverbal communication represents low levels of Emotional Intelligence. We all can and need to do better.

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Microaggression Example, 2

Bragging that you “do not see color,” effectively neutralizes personal uniqueness, as skin tones are part of who we are as individuals. (Unless, that is, you are completely color blind to every hue, and there is really no need to point that out!) Cleveland Clinic has pointed out, “…while the people who dropped these verbal grenades may not see the harm in them, the impact of these statements can be felt for weeks, years, or even decades.” Personally, I definitely see color. Because of the way I grew up and personal choice, I find diversity interesting, unique, enriching, and often very beautiful. Fortunately, High Emotional Intelligence helps a person avoid exhibiting Microaggression in the form of Microassaults, Microinsults, and Microinvalidations. Fortunately, high Emotional Intelligence can help you manage your emotions appropriately, avoid jumping to conclusions, and refrain from all verbal or nonverbal microaggressions.

A new AUDIO podcast is posted every Saturday morning

https://anchor.fm/arlene-r-taylor

 A new VIDEO podcast is posted every Saturday morning

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Microaggression Example

 

Insisting that you understand exactly what another brain is feeling is microaggression. No one ever completely understands what another person is going through. Period. All perceptions are unique to each individual brain because each human brain is different. Similar experiences? Maybe. Identical? Think again. If appropriate you might say that you do not understand what they are feeling and would be willing to listen to if they are comfortable sharing. However, that presupposes that you are able to listen nonjudgmentally and refrain from launching into your own story, or saying that what they are feeling is ridiculous, or telling them what they need to do. If you are unable to avoid such behaviors, it is better to say nothing or something like, “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.” My little French grandmother used to say, “It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”