Bandler's Suggestions

Bandler's view on how to recover successfully  from the death of a loved one has a lot to do with the pictures you place in working memory. Now that we know more about mirror neurons, that makes sense. For example, first, recall all the memories you can of the person who has died. Next sort through them and select all the good and happy memories. Put those in working memory and experience them as if they are happening right now in the present and in life-sized living color.  Choose to be happy in the midst of all those good memories, knowing that you carry them within you and will have them the rest of your life. You can access them any time you choose. Then, take a look at some of the sad pictures, but rather than viewing them in life-sized living color, see them with you present in the picture as if you were viewing them on a small black-and-white phone or iPad screen. As you look at the small B&W pictures, imagine that they are becoming even smaller; so small they are rather difficult to see. You can look at them any time you choose but how much more rewarding to look at the happy pictures in life-sized living color instead. Finally, see yourself honoring the memory of your loved one by living as fully and happily in the present as possible. Whenever you feel down with sad memories, repeat this process.