Giving
and accepting compliments reflects both self-worth and Emotional Intelligence. When
you deflect or deny appreciative comments it actually is a form of put-down to
the person who appreciated something you did. You may as well just say,
"You sure don't have any taste. Imagine you liking something then taking time
to tell me about it! Avoid doing that again because you certainly lack good
evaluative skills." It often takes courage for someone to offer what they
perceive to be a compliment. If you catch yourself in the trap of undervaluing
and underappreciating the affirmation of others, spend some time thinking about
what you heard in your family growing up. Did your parents affirm each other and
you or were compliments few and far between? Were the compliments received
graciously or rejected? Compliments represent another brain’s opinion. Your
brain may have a different opinion. However, negating or diminishing their
affirmations is like throwing away something valuable. It says far more about
your sense of self-worth and your level of emotional intelligence that it does
the person who went out of their way to offer you the compliment.
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