1. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
2. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
3. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
4. When chemists die, they barium.
5. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
6. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class. It was a weapon of math disruption.
7. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
8. Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. Police are looking into it.
9. Did you hear about the buy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.