Lexophilia and Lexophiles, 9

1.   I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it 

    turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

2.   She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

3.   No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

4.   Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

5.   A dog gave birth to puppies beside the road and was cited for littering.

6.   A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

7.   Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8.   I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

9.   Two hats were hanging on a rack. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on ahead."