Sayings #1

A friend of mine sent me a collection of ‘sayings.’ My brain found many of them quite humorous so I’ll share some from time to time. Here are the first eight.

1.   I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.

2.   Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local community swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

3.   If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

4.   I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

5.   Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Artificial intelligence is often fixable; stupidity is not.

6.   I'm great at multi-tasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

7. You'd think in this day and age that Santa would be using an iPad, traveling by rocket, and unlocking a door with electronic gadgetry rather than risking a sooty chimney.

8.   If you can smile when things go wrong, you may have someone in mind to blame.