Unreliability and Creepiness

One of my top red flags for 'creepiness' is unreliability, and I pay attention. Genuine friendships tend to be reliable. That doesn’t mean that situations never crop up that require a change of plans. It does mean that those instances are rare and usually due to a good reason: your mother was just admitted to the hospital with a heart attack or your beloved pet just died or the plane is grounded somewhere in Canada due to a blizzard or your car has gone missing from a handicapped parking spot in broad daylight no less. By all means be open to developing new friendships but take your time and do so reflectively, deliberately, wisely, and judiciously. When in doubt, back off and observe for a while. Your brain is your greatest resource and interested ally—it really does want the best for both of you and tries to get your attention and give you information by triggering emotions. Meantime enjoy your connections with tried and true friends, who give your brain no red flags. By chance if you are the one exhibiting red-flag messages, take a long hard look at yourself and choose to develop healthier and more functional behaviors. The holiday season can be a great opportunity to practice and hone them.