Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Relationship Recovery, 2

When there is something you don’t understand, ASK the other person what he or she meant and do that as soon as possible. The more time that goes by and the more water that flows under the bridge, the more problematic this can be. Sometimes one or both even forget what the initial triggering incident involved. Review how you saw others behave growing up in similar situations and decide if you want to continue that pattern or craft a healthier response and a new strategy. If you care about the other person and want to maintain the relationship, it can be worth the work—given he or she has the same goal. If you don’t care that much about the friendship and choose to walk away, be sure that unless you change your own behavioral patterns the same “silent treatment” based on triggers will likely be repeated in the new friendship.

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