Monday, July 9, 2018

Toxic Relationship Pattern, 3

 Researchers studying the Demand/Withdraw Pattern of Interaction between individuals concluded that the bottom-line reason for the relational problem and the resulting “silent treatment” was something fairly simply. Each person viewed the other as “the problem.” Is it possible to alter this toxic pattern? Of course, if both individuals care enough about the friendship or romantic relationship to choose to do so. Resolution likely starts with each individual “doing their own rat killing” as an old expression goes. Most individuals have some idea of what the other’s “hot buttons” are and yet continue to press them and then blame the other person. They fail to look at the fact that in any two-person misunderstanding, estimates are that only 30% has to do with the present moment and the other person; while 70% has to do with each person’s own baggage from the past. More tomorrow.

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