Answer for EQ Question Four
ü Accept them “as is” and set your own boundaries as needed
Note: if the opinions are presented in such a way that they become a danger to others in the group, take appropriate steps to be safe. However, if it is just a different opinion, ask yourself if there is any need for you to argue or press your opinion or even express it. “I often say something like, “That’s an interesting—or different—perspective.” And let it go. Criticizing them or bad-mouthing them to others represents low levels of EQ. It rarely helps them and eventually makes you look bad as others figure “If s/he talks to me about that person the individual probably talks to others about me in a similar way!” So far, free speech is upheld in many countries—although not all. Each person, each citizen, has a right to his or her opinion and to express it—as long as it does not endanger the safety of another person or demean or put-them-down. Therefore, telling them to change in order to be accepted is likely not your job or even your right. I have sometimes observed to the newcomers privately, that since their opinions are so vastly different from those of the group they are trying to attend, they might want to consider whether the conflict is going to be worth it and if it will help them achieve what they want to achieve in the long term. If they ignore that observation and conflict continues to result, I will set my own boundaries and cease to attend the group myself. I choose to avoid placing my brain and body in an environment of conflict and dissention—because it is deleterious to my brain and body and to their health and well-being.