Emotional Interrupters – Shame

Rather than being described as core emotions, many consider shame and guilt to be emotional interrupters. They interrupt whatever is happening in order to get your attention. Likely learned reactions, each may be helpful and healthy or false and unhealthy. Your sense of shame may develop very early in childhood. Unhealthy or false shame says you yourself are a bad person who deserves humiliation and disgust—even abuse—whether or not you made a mistake. False shame’s response: What a complete putz! I am so inadequate and pathetic!

Healthy shame or contrition triggers a sense of embarrassment, distress, or dread from a recognition of your mistake. It can prompt you to apologize and to make attempts to remedy the consequences insofar as it is possible to do so. Healthy shame’s response: Oops, I made a mistake—I am choosing a more functional behavior!