Airline Announcements

Humor abounds on or above planet earth. For example, I have taken a great many airline flights and pay attention to the announcements.

1) There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only 4 ways out of this plane.

2) Shortly we will begin our food service. s
erve refreshments. Please remember that we are in the airline business, not the food business.

3) Please make sure you take all your belonging with you. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Under no circumstances leave children or spouses behind—take them with you!

4) Please notice that we are 10 minutes early. So, the next time we are 60 minutes late, we’ll just call it even.

5) Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the asphalt.

6) We’ll be landing as soon as we get closer to the ground.

7) Welcome aboard this Southwest flight to Denver. We will be taking off just as soon I get through page 10 of this flight manual.

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