Monday, March 6, 2023

Bulletin Bloopers

Most bulletins I’ve seen have read conained some type of blooper. Try these. 

      1)    If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly

      2)    Today’s sermon outline: Delineate your fear, Disown your fear, Displace your rear.

      3)    Don't let worry kill you—let this church help!

 4)    Thank you to our Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess for preparing this month’s Communion.

5)    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet next Thursday at 7 pm - please enter by the back door.

6)    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

7)    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

8)    Last Sunday the Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

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