Alternative Questions

Asking a “why question” of an adult narcissist typically guarantees walking on egg shells and potentially injuring your own feet. Their reactivity tends to be set in stone, one reason that this mental disorder is often referred to as an extremely difficult behavior to deal with, much less to recover from. Even with professional help, they tend to believe that the problem is always—repeat ALWAYS—someone else’s problem and never theirs. For a teenager, try open-ended questions rather than anything starting with the word “Why.” For example, “What was your brain thinking when you decided to drink and drive?” “What could you do next time to remember to turn in your homework?” “How could you remind yourself the night before to put out the garbage?” “What prompted your brain to punch your little brother?” “Is there something I can do to help you realize the value of telling the truth and building a reputation for honesty?”

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