Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Brain Ponderisms, 2

A ponderism can be defined as something that someone’s mind has thought about, considered, asked, or weighed. More ponderisms:

  • My folks ate a lot of natural foods until they learned that most people die of natural causes.
  • Are the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star really the same tune?
  • Life is sexually transmitted, except in a test tube (unless it’s a very large test tube).
  • Is a hearse carrying a corpse allowed to drive in the carpool lane?
  • The major difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • Feeling blue? Start breathing again and let it change your color.
  • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which you can die.
  • Go figure: how is it that the neighbor’s dog looks away if you blow in its face, but on a car ride it can’t wait to stick its head out the window?

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