Cheating and the Brain

I like a man, but he is married. I wouldn’t mind being his mistress—I don’t need to marry him and break up the family. He has 2 lovely kids. I am pretty sure he likes me and is open to an affair. I feel so special when we are together. If he is willing to have an affair, it must mean he finds me very special, and that I mean a lot to him. What should I do?

 
You are not the only woman who believes that when a man wants to have an affair or a one-night-stand or says he loves her—it must mean that he thinks the woman is. very special. My brain’s opinion is that this is a huge misconception bordering on a delusion. No doubt  he could give you umpteen reasons for agreeing to this. They might range from 'my wife and I have grown apart, nothing in common any more, it won’t hurt her as we’ll be careful not to get caught, , I never ever really loved her to begin with but married her because she got pregnant.' Those reasons actually have little to do with you and everything to do with him. Cheaters tend to have little or no empathy for their partner and children (if they exist). Cheaters cheat because they are immature opportunists, with no sense of commitment, integrity, or self-control. As one writer put it, it is not that you are so special; it is that he is not. More tomorrow