Failing in School

My son and I recently immigrated to the US from a very poor, war-torn country. I now have a decent job and want my son to do better. I was never able to go to school and I found a job where I could use my native language—we speak that at home, too. Yesterday at parent-teacher conference the teach told me that my son is failing in school because he refuses to learn to speak English, therefore, he is not keeping up with the classwork. I am embarrassed but do not know what to do.

 I applaud what you have done to better yours and your son’s life. It is not always easy to learn a second language. It requires a mindset and intention, including speaking every word of English at home as fast as you learn it. Your son takes his cues from you. It is hard for a child to do or become what he or she does not see role modeled. Just because you were deprived of an education as a child, does not mean he must replicate that in his generation. One mother I know in a similar situation, sat her child down and said, “It is easier for children to learn a new language. However, I may need to find a job where I can speak English. I know you have a good brain. I know that you can help me learn English. You can teach me what you learn at school.” Ask the teacher if there are any volunteers that could come to your home once or twice a week and help both of your learn. Affirm your son for what he does know. Thank him for helping you.

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