Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Aim for Win-Wins

Do you look for ways in any situation that can be a win-win rather than a win-lose? Do you refrain from saying or doing things that trigger anxiety or a sense of inadequacy, perhaps about the way you dress or wear your hair or your favorite things? Does this individual try to one-up you or appear superior to you, in private or public? Or try to change you to meet their expectations or compare you to others? Initially this can come across as just ‘trying to help you.’ Often the limitations they have placed on themselves get projected on to you. On closer evaluation, it may be they fear you will look better than they do or they need to appear ‘better’ than you. Do they put you down unless you go along with whatever they want to do, which is an attempt to justify their behavior and feel better about their choices? Hone your intuition and pay attention to it. If you sense something isn’t ‘right’ or ‘safe’ about the relationship, pay attention. More tomorrow.

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