Healthy, desirable relationships enrich your life and you, in turn, can enrich theirs. Become the person that you want for your best friend (and you
are the only person who will be with you for your entire life) and then you
will be attractive to and attracted by others with similar characteristics.
Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you and the way you purpose to
treat them. Are you quickly able to list at least five key characteristics that
you greatly admire about the relationship you are evaluating? Characteristics you wish for yourself? No? Hmmm. Take
time to make two lists: one of characteristics you admire about this relationship
and the other of behaviors that you do not admire or appreciate and that you do
not aspire to develop. If the cons outweigh the pros this may be a relationship
you need to let go. Be honest. Are you holding on to this relationship out of a
sense of inappropriate loyalty or fear of loss? You may find the Relationship Evaluation on my website under Assessments
helpful. After doing this on paper a few times, it becomes quite easy to move
this to a mental evaluation. Sometimes people hold on to
dysfunctional relationships far longer than is good for them. Marc Chernoff put
it this way: You will only ever be as great as the people with
whom you surround yourself; so be brave enough to let go of those who keep
bringing you down.
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