Do you promise
carefully and only what you are quite sure you can deliver? There are times
when something unexpected arises but this should generally be rare if you have
thought ahead. Is there a pattern of planning
things but begging off at last minute or rescheduling, often because they got a
better offer? Do
you have an appointment but when the time comes it has ‘slipped their mind’ or
are consistently late or don’t even show up? Anyone can get busy and forget to
write down the date and time—once. But twice and then three times? Not if they
are committed to the relationship and value your time. Is this relationship one that ‘has your back’ as the
saying goes? Is there any evidence that the
relationship is more about their perception of your success and a desire to
hang onto your coattails or who you know and therefore who they may be able to
meet? Do they make time for you only when it’s convenient for them and when
they have nothing better to do? I have a standing appointment with myself in my
daily calendar and never make excuses if I’m asked to do something that doesn’t
work for me. I simply ‘have another appointment.” Irene S. Levine, PhD, of the
NYU School of Medicine suggests setting appropriate personal limits, discussing
them with your close friends, and then sticking to them. For example, unless
you are notified of an emergency, you wait only 15 minutes at a restaurant then
order for yourself or leave. More tomorrow.
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