Since Emotional Intelligence is such an important part of
success—and since it is so often misunderstood—“Social Insurance” may be
another practical way to understand this. Research by John Gottman and
colleagues at the University of Washington (in an attempt to gain more understanding
about relationships and how they function) found that brains apparently keep an
informal count of behaviors and categorize them as positive or negative. Think
of this as a positive-negative emotional bank account that resides in each
brain. And it isn’t just tit-for-tat, either. It’s more than keeping an equal
score of positive versus negative behaviors. Social insurance indicates that you
need to keep a balance of at least four or five positive behaviors to every
negative behavior in order to maintain good relationships. More tomorrow.
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