Okay, you are a brain
function specialist. How do you feel when someone you know ignores you? Does it
still hurt, or do you blow it off?
Interesting question. I am a “human” brain function specialist,
not a robot. There are times when someone I know very well and enjoy chatting
with walks past my office without stopping even to nod or passes me at a
meeting without every even “seeing” me. My brain registers the rejection and
releases its natural opiate, endorphins, its painkiller to help counteract the
physical pain. Endorphins, by the way, impact the brain very differently than
synthetic opiates such as morphine. When that happens, I avoid JOT (low
Emotional Intelligence) behaviors because they hurt me the most. Does it still
hurt? Of course, because it is a type of social-emotional rejection (all the
more because I know I would have enjoyed a short chat), and my brain processes
that as physical pain. I also know that at some level I choose how long I want
to “hurt.” In order to change the way I feel, I must change the way I think. I
am clear the person must be having a bad day or preoccupied because I have done
or said nothing hurtful.
Therefore, I let it go. Then I think of something for which to be thankful and
go on about my day. It’s a learned strategy.
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